Boyish Shenanigans vs The Mature

Thoughts from a penniless Tuesday night...

These images are a mere representation of a memorable evening.

A minor realization

Major Payne said it best: "If I wanted sympathy, I would look in the dictionary between SHIT and SYPHILIS." I will be the first to admit that I have used appeals to sympathy to manipulate a situation or two in the past. For me, fear and sympathy have been distant cousins in a past life. I don't scare easily, but when I find myself terrified of a possible outcome (especially when that income includes losing something my heart has grown fond of) I will use any means necessary to acquire more time to process information and assure myself that the "juice", no matter how bitter and cold, is worth the "squeeze".

I giggle at myself now that I have admitted this. It IS childish. It is NOT an attractive quality. BUT....and I do stress this...BUT it IS honest.

Now onward and upward to a list of things that bother me.

1. Lies...own your fallic stench. If you fart at a dinner party, let your coworkers know it was you and earn the respect of being honest and ashamed. They may not be able to finish their meal, but they will probably eat with you again once they've grown their nosehair back.
2. Cowards...don't run and hide, grow some balls. If you wanted something that I had, why hide in the shadows like a sissy? If your balls aren't big enough, I could donate part of my left one to make up for your short-comings.
3. People judging me for keeping the proverbial running shoes laced and by the door so that when I feel screwed, I can create immediate distance from the screwdriver. The funny thing is...I should have donned those shoes and used them on SEVERAL occasions and was so naive to think that love really does conquer all.
4. Why does my guitar always end up in the middle of a breakup? Do they make safety deposit boxes big enough?
5. Feeling the need to adlib song lyrics to drive a point home.
6. Explaining to the whole fam damily (thanks Tina, hee hee) why "The One", is now "the ONE" that chose another.
7. Hearing cliches from those people stating why I am better off, when they should hear both sides of the story before giving me advice. Honesty requires me to state that my side of the story is a bit biased, although I WAS caught defending her actions (which made me feel better and pissed them off. It was funny, I guess you had to be there.)
8. All of this time for free thought, which does have it's benefits and I do appreciate them, but realizing the beliefs that I compromised were not worth it. I WILL NEVER COMPROMISE MYSELF REGARDLESS OF HOW VULNERABLE THEY NEED TO THINK THAT I AM.
9. Voting for Jon Kerry. Piss off you shameless wanker poser. You could have...at least...written a decoration recommendation for a buddy and had him write one for you, instead of wrting you own...having it rejected for it being a flesh wound and undeserving of the PURPLE FUCKING HEART, then waiting for the medical authority to transfer back to the States only to resubmit the same recommendation to his replacement and have it approved due to his own ignorance. Thank GOD we have a Texan in the White House.

Ron White said it best: In my state, we have the Death Penalty, and we UUUUUSSSSEEEEEEE it. If you come our state and kill somebody, we will kill you back! The Texas State Legislature is actually trying to pass a law to speed up the execution date for those who commit heinous crimes where there are more than 3 credible eye witnesses. If you come to Texas and screw up bad enough, and more than 3 people saw you do what you did, you dont wait on death row for 15 years, JACK, you go directly to the front of the line. Most states are trying to abolish the death penalty...my state's putting in an Express Lane.

Now I am not a fan of capitol punishment...but, I recognize the need for the deterrent factors. "Studies have shown..." my ass. Statistics can say whatever the hell statisticians want the figures to reflect. Focus on who funded the study to begin with and get back to me. SHOW ME SOMETHING REAL.

"COPS DON'T NEED GUNS!", Are you fucking kidding me? Go tell that to a family who lost a loved one in the line of duty because he or she didn't draw their weapon in time or tried to REASON with the psychopath. Show me a Utopia, and I will raise the money to cover your relocation expenses.

I wish i could remember which movie that "Is the juice worth the squeeze?" line was in.

Today's music selection: Cold..."bleed"

Mr. Montange, you introduced me to this a few years ago. I sing it in my head when things get confusing. We "found" ourselves in the wake of a tragedy that strengthened an unspoken bond. That was one of many things I am grateful for. Picking up the pieces of the collateral damage with you by my side was one of the more pleasant moments. A tribute to many hours spent chatting over extensive guitar lessons taught by mere amatuers, my friend:

I'm feeling crossed
I take it inside
Burn up the pain
My thoughts are strange
Just like the things
I used to love
Just like the tree that fell
I heard it
If art is still inside
I feel it

I wanna bleed
Show the world all that I have inside
I wanna scream
Let the blood flow that keeps me alive

Take all these strings
They call my veins
Wrap them around
Every fucking thing

Presence of people
Not for me
Well I must remain in tune
Forever
My love is music
I will marry melody

I wanna bleed
Show the world all that I have inside
I wanna scream
Let the blood flow that keeps me alive

Won't you let me take you
For a ride
You can stop the world
Try to change my mind
Won't you let me show you
How it feels
You can stop the world
But you won't change me

I need music
I need music
I need music to set me free
To let me bleed

Fuel "Innocent"

Satan, you know where I lie
Gently I go into that good night
All our lives get complicated
Search for pleasures overrated
Never armed our souls
For what the future would hold
When we were innocent

Angels, lend me your might
Forfeit all my lives to get just one right
All those colors long since faded
All our smiles all confiscated
Never were we told
We'd be bought and sold
When we were innocent

This prayer is for me tonight
This far down that line and still ain't got it right
And while confessions not yet stated
Our next sin is contemplated
Never did we know
What the future would hold
Or that we'd be bought and sold
We were innocent

Life IS FUNny

So many people hear about things before you are ready for them to. So many people want to be there when the shit hits the fan, but the ones who trulylove you stand downwind with you. The really great ones would rather stand between you and the fan, even though you need the splatter to begin righting the wrongs.

I received insight from a 54 year old man who has never had a stable relationship in his life. He also jumped knee-deep in my butt when I refused his initial advice, then told his parrot to, and I quote..."Shut up, bitch!" Makes me wonder where I get my attitufe from.

I can't wait to Eat dinner with the people that stand downwind! I hope we can all shower first (seperately, of course)

AM I a nice person?

I only write this because I it has come to my attention that I may not be. Some think I suck. (please, no jokes)

Some think I am not worthy of the truth.
Some feel neglected, even though they think I am not worthy of the truth.
Who is neglected?
I rest my case

A different language...

As men, we often say the same things on a fairly regular basis. Here are few translations...

"I'M GOING FISHING"
>Translated: I'm going to drink myself stupid and stand by a stream with >a >stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.
"IT'S A GUY THING"
>Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it and you have no chance at all of making it logical".
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
>Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"UH HUH", "SURE, HONEY", OR "YES, DEAR"
>Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
>Translated: "I have no idea how it works."
I WAS LISTENING TO YOU IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
>Translated: "I was wondering if that red-head over there is wearing a bra."
"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
>Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
>Translated: "Are you still talking?"
"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
>Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever k issed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".
>Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
"OH, DON'T FUSS. I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
>Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, and will probably bleed to death. God, please help me hold back the tears."
"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
"I CAN'T FIND IT."
>Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
>Translated: "What did you catch me at?"
"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
>Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse."
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC"
>Translated: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."
"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
>Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."

Sad yet proud...

So Robyn is out of town with the Women's Studies' department, presenting her paper in front of hundreds of women, and I am left home for the weekend. Thanks to my business plan, which is going to blow the roof of the bank in a few years, I am currently broke enough that vendors won't even accept cash from me. I am so broke I can't pay attention!

I met a guy today that works for ESPN. I envy his job very much, and wish i were financially independant so i could have his job as a hobby. He lives here in Omaha (Millard) Nebraska. The Minnisota Vikings send a Leer Jet to pick him up on game days to fly him back to Minneapolis to report on the game or something, and when the game is over...they fly his ass back to this tiny airport in Millard. No lines. No pesky metal detectors. No cavity searches. No hassles.

Good news, though! I may pick him up as an investment client. He once played for the Vikes, and seems to have a bit of nest egg saved up that he is willing to switch brokers as soon as I get my securities' license! Our Smith Barney Mutual Fund Manager in the Big Apple was just voted "Fund Manager of the Decade" by his peers on Wall Street due to the Agressive Growth Fund he has been dilligently working for a majority of that decade. I think that had to do with the 12-14% return it has averaged since it's creation, and the Strategic Rebalancing properties that keep the investor's portfolio from becoming too heavy, or wet, in any single area. Diversification and persistance are the keys to choosing correctly in the Dollar Cost Averaging model.

Yes...it's quite boring to read, unless you have spent any length of time around my peers lately. I never thought I could hold a conversation that included all of these terms. I probably sound like an idiot to someone who actually works on Wall Street, but I am just the marketing arm for the largest company on said thoroughfare!

I miss my girl! I wish i could be there! I am sorry I am not. Sunday...hurry Sunday.

Thanks Lissa...that was fun!

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Orgasmasounds of Robyn Martha

So we are wasting time in the computer lab, waiting for our next class to start, when Robyn makes several attempts at laughing under her breath at Ken and Ariel's last few posts. I didn't realize what types of sounds she was making until I glanced up and saw two things...

1) Everyone grinning and snickering at/with Robyn
2) Robyn not noticing that because she is too busy laughing under her breath and seronading us all with sounds resembling someone giving her the "Pickle Tickle" with her parents in the next room.

Rock on!